My guiding lightning Strike
by Stephxcullen957
Summary: Ash  tried to wash away the guilt that plagued her. The hurt in his eyes was crystal clear.. why couldnt she see it? She had to find retribution for her idiocy involving the man who not only loved her but would also save the galaxy., smut,angst,humor.etc
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: My lightning strike

**Authors****note:****hey****y****'****all!****This****is****my****first****Mass****effect****story****with****Ashley****and****maleshep!****Wooo!****I****can****feel****the****excitement****from****the****0.0012****people****reading****this****:p****  
>I<strong>**think****I've****exhausted****my****mass****effect****2****disc****and****all****15****of****my****careers****lol****so****it's****time****for****something****new****to****entertain****me****until****march****6****2012.****There****are****many****Fics****about****femshep****and****kaidan's****stormy****relationship****after****the****infamous****horizon****scene****.****I****wanted****to****try****it****with****Ashley****and****maleshep****to****change****it****up****a****bit****and****hopefully****inspire****others****to****give****ash****and****shep****some****love****by****making****some****epic****stories!****:D**

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**Anyways, this story will be a tad angsty in the beginning but will gradually become adventurous and sexy;) yes there will be legit sexy times in this story I promise you !:) even if reading smut is not your thing , i will create the chapters so you can skip the chapters with smut and not miss any important story line :)  
>I always appreciate some (who am I kidding) ALOT of reviews to see what you guys think or if you have any suggestions to share :)<br>Alright 0.0012 people reading this.  
>ENJOY!33<br>-steph:)  
>Oh yeah. Bioware owns all. (Jealous face)<br>**

She cursed loudly as she tripped into her small Citadel condo, bags flying into the space in every direction.

Ashley Williams prided herself in knowing that she could maintain her balance and grace, even in the direst circumstances. Today however was a different story. She would have never thought that such a menial task would result in her making very close contact with the floor. Hell, she could stay upright when 15 husks were trampling her. She supposed that the long trip back to the citadel from the wretched colony made her especially uncoordinated as well as the recent events that occurred there.

Williams regained her composure and made her way to her bedroom, and kicked off her boots and jacket, eager to get into the plush bed . Once inside the warm covers, she closed her eyes in an attempt to quiet the guilt and hurt that plagued her mind.

Inevitably, her thoughts drifted to that disastrous day. She had heard the rumors, everyone did. The news of Commander Shepard, savior of the citadel, first human spectre, Alliance poster boy for ultimate heroism seemingly impossible resurrection spread like wildfire and soon every single news post in Citadel space wanted any juicy detail and would pounce on any somewhat believable story. Did the spectre fake his death to turn back on the council and alliance just to join the infamos pro human terrorist group named Cerberus? Was it all... Ash had had enough of the bullshit. She couldn't handle it. She was only starting to move on when the rumors began. She had mourned for a full year, took up drinking with joker who had been grounded by the alliance. That was a huge blow to the man who had not only lost his best friend but also the ship that gave him a sense of purpose since he had a rare bone disease that prevented easy movement. She was surprised when he disappeared, leaving a only a short letter saying that he found something better. Only now did she learn that he had understandably joined Cerberus since they gave him exactly what the Alliance took away from him.

Those rumors angered her to no end for they were slandering his memory. However, they also gave her hope. The romantic side of her wanted to believe that they would be reunited and go back to the way things were meant to be . The practical side told her to get a hold of herself and ignore the idiotic rumors that would only bring her despair if she acted on them.

But at that very moment when their eyes locked for the first time since the Normandy's destruction two years ago, her mind was overloaded with hope, joy, and relief that God had finally answered her prayers! He had walked towards her and took her in his Arms. She buried her face into his neck and a single tear dropped from her face. He whispered softly in her ear "I missed you Ash" She loosened her grip on him and looked into his eyes, which reflected her exact emotions. Pain. Sorrow. Loss. Relief . Love. She released him , and the colour drained from her face as she saw that his squad mates were dressed in Cerberus uniforms. So the rumor of his connection to that damned terrorist group was true! She could even see a more advanced replica of the SR1 in the sky. She grit her teeth as she saw the "SR2 Normandy" in bold letters beside the damn Cerberus insignia.  
>She saw red.<p>

From that point on, reason became a foreign concept to her and she made her anger clear to shepard. She accused him of turning his back on the Alliance, his beliefs, and their relationship. She turned to leave, deciding that she would never allow herself be hurt like again. He called out to her, stating that he could USE someone like her on the team and that it would be just like old times.

Bull. Fucking. Shit.

Yeah. Old times alright with Cerberus scum watching our every move while running terrifying experiments on humans and Aliens alike.  
>Her Rage was reaching a dangerous level. She spoke with venomous clarity stating that she was an Alliance solider and always would be.<br>Once her anger simmered down a few moments later she said" Goodbye Shepard, be careful" and walked away.

She couldn't keep the scene from replaying over and over again. With the constant replay, came the same question: why was I so fucking stupid to let my emotions cloud my rationality?  
>Ashley always tried to keep her feelings separate from the task at hand but ever since Shepard came into her life all those years ago , that mission had become nearly impossible.<p>

That very fact stayed true on Horizon. Whenever he was around, any sense of reason went completely out the proverbial window. Ha, Skipper can add that to the list of his many talents...Making Ashley Williams turn into a bumbling idiot.  
>But damn, why did she not let him speak? She knew he completely detested Cerberus since they had destroyed many of their cruel testing facilities. He would only be involved with them if there was no other viable option.<p>

Hell she wouldn't blame him for joining them since the council was too delusional to accept his evidence and the Alliance was just a mess.  
>Even after He explained how he woke up in a Cerberus facility under attack and had no idea what the hell was going on until some random brunette explained to him that he had been dead for two mother fucking years and was painstakingly reconstructed to have a second shot at saving the galaxy. She still thought he betrayed her and the alliance and everything he stood for. How could she be so stupid?<p>

It was her, Ashley Williams who turned her back on a man that hadn't given up on her yet.

Well Ash, I believe that we can conclude from this interlude that you need serious help. Second, just like your Mamma told you when you were a kid, apologize for the wrong you've done to other s.  
>Yeah, she thought. I do need serious help and my commander..<p>

**Yay! I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter/ prologue. Now the chapters will get longer as the story develops. Also, there will be chapters in shepards point of view, as well as some other epic characters that we know and love I will try to review as frequently as possible. Maybe a few chapters a week depending on how hectic my schedule is . there will be weeks where I don't review as often and weeks where I have a bunch of free time and can write to my hearts content1 yay! Lol As always, reviews are GREATLY appreiciated. Merci beacoup! :B**

…**.Until next time…. **

**-steph3**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Yay! Thanks for the reviews guys! I will give you all cyber hugs! Aha alright so my overall plan for this story is to not have 95 chapters for everyday leading up to the implied reunion in me3. I will have my own take on how it all plays out. I feel that if I had so many chapters depicting an angsty Shepard recruiting his team of misfits would be incredibly dry since we have all played the game Many times over (I know I have about 28494 times) lol instead I will include the major events of me2 with Shepard as well as Ashley's follow up with the alliance plus her road to becoming a spectre:) hopefully this plan works out and you all enjoy! Now this will only be for a little bit and then we will give shep and ash the love they most definitely deserve with some good ol' action, violence, sex, and squad banter( especially the sex) that we need more of! ( im talking to you bioware!) Alright I should stop.

I heart the comments and reviews guys ( you have no idea) they make me smile :)

Now we shall see how our Shepard is handling the most recent events . ONWARD!  
>Oh and Bioware owns all<p>

"Soo how did it go? I hear Gunnery Chief, Ashley Williams was there, did you patch things up? Do you still like her?" Yeoman Chambers's ever insistent voice greeted him as he walked to the elevator. He supposed it was a change from the  
>"Commander, you have received new messages at your private terminal "<br>At least 5 times every single goddamned day. Why did she feel the need to tell him? It seemed that that was her only job aboard this ship.  
>He always remembered to check his messages back on the SR1 without a bloody secretary so why did he now? Shit he missed that ship... Especially Ash..<p>

"Chambers, I hardly think that you are in a position to ask me such questions just because you have a degree in physiology or some shit like that." He stated

"Well, I ...I didn't mean to offend yo..." she started

"now don't get your panties in a bunch Kelly. I think that we can learn from this little indiscretion that we don't..." he began

"purposely go out of our away to annoy Shepard while he is having a particularly shitty day." Chambers said, embarrassment clear in her voice

"I'm glad we understand one another" The elevator door slip open. "Ah, now that's my que to leave ."He had just turned his back to her and towards the elevator when she said"  
>Commander, for the record, if you don't mind me saying of course .. But I was genuinely concerned for your well being ... Because you looked rather.. Upset when..She.. I mean.. When the mission was over." Yeoman said.<p>

"I appreciate the concern Kelly And I will admit, it was rather difficult seeing her and realizing how hurt she was and knowing that there was nothing I could have said to appease her. All she can see is Cerberus. Not the facts. "he sighed.

"I should go" he stated.

"Be well, Commander" she said

...

He collapsed onto the bed, thoughts and emotions jumbled into a pile of mess and confusion. He couldn't understand why she reacted as strongly as she did

Ash was a fighter, tough enough to go through the trials and tribulations of being an Alliance marine. Very few remained sane after being exposed to the very horrors that continue to haunt the galaxy like she had.  
>He remembered vividly meeting her on Eden Prime. She had lost her whole squad to the geth invasion and had managed to remain somewhat calm when speaking to him the very first time.<br>The fear was Clear in her eyes but she would never let it overcome her for fear of jeopardizing the mission  
>The very determination and stubbornness that helped her to succeed countless times was also a weakness<p>

Her very desire to remain level headed at all times did not allow her to falter. If that slight tip off her perfect balance moved, even just an inch , any logical or practical thought disappeared. The calm would immediately be replaced with catastrophic levels of emotion. The scale of balance, broken in half, resolve annihilated.

Shepard could not come up with any other explanation concerning Ashley and the disaster that was Horizon.  
>Commander Shepard always dissected every single aspect of an altercation or situation. It made perfect sense to him: Analyze the situation, think about every possible thing that could have been done, if you had tried every single possible thing , then it was safe to say that you tried your best and there was nothing you could have done.<p>

Horizon was no exception. He had thought about what Ash had said, realizing that she did have some validity to her arguments , however harsh her method of telling him exactly what she was upset about .  
>But shit, she did not even let him talk for fuck's sake! Didn't she learn in grade school that when accusing someone of an offense, you must give them time to defend themselves or clear any misconceptions that she may have had to solve the conflict as quick and painlessly as possible?<p>

He assumed that her perfect marine state of mind had finally cracked as she saw him alive with Cerberus. What began as joy and relief switched to anger and shock in a matter of seconds which he decided, was more than enough to tip the scale. And he had received all the fallout.

He sighed, the scene constantly replaying over and over again. He remembered asking her to join her on the normandy again, just like old times as a last attempt to calm her down. Her reaction was unexpected as she turned from him, biding him farewell. He only realized now that how he had asked her was what caused her to stiffly walk away.  
>Wow shep, your quite the idiot aren't you? "I could USE someone like you? "Really? That's the best you could come up with? Real smooth. No wonder she left him<p>

He had it all planned out in his head, one last gallant effort to save his (not so) damsel in distress. It had all come out wrong. Dammit get a grip, you sound like a whiny little teenage boy. Straighten up solider.

Well, we were both incredibly daft in this little equation of stupidity weren't we?

He considered the old saying "love makes us do crazy things." Yeah, no shit.

Damn, I need some sleep and For Chawkwas to become a part time mental therapist.

Next up: some story progression some annoying ass ambassadors and our favorite crew of misfits! Woooo! Hope you all enjoyed our sheps internal dialogue! Oh and let's not forget miss Yeoman Kelly chambers! I'm sorry but she annoys the hell out me! I can stand her! So I apologize for making her a bit of an idiot :p  
>Oh and guys and gals, dont y'all worry , shep and ash lovin' Is on the way!<p>

Oh btw guys, so I gave shep the generic "John" as a first name. If any one has an epic name to suggest, I will incorporate it into the story ! Doesnt that sound fun?  
>Until next time<br>- steph3 :)


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